Guest Speaker- Mrs. Olubosede Adeleke, M.D of Gold Collections Hats and a Family Counsellor.

On the 26th of Jan, 2018, the Lecture Keynote, Who Are Your Friends? (Impact of Choice in 2018). Took place on our Whatsapp platform “The Purpose ”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Mrs.Olubosede Adeleke.

Who is Mrs. Olubosede Adeleke?

She is a Wife, a Mother, a Friend, also a family counselor, a natural health enthusiast, a fashion designer, and a milliner. She is the  Managing Director of  Gold Collections Hats.

She Started out with a degree in education (English) from the university of Ife, now Obafemi Awolowo University.

She has been counselling for over 15years. (Family Counsellor).

Lecture in Details

We looked at how the choices we make will directly affect our lives in 2018.

Who are your friends? (Impact of choice in 2018).

  • We don’t have much choice about when we are born or the family we are born into. The choices we make after we are born may however determine how long we would spend on this timeline called “Life and Living”.

“Choices make or mar us. Choices can set us up for greatness or see us crash to the depths of despair and hopelessness”.

Of all choices we will make in life, these two are very important:

Spiritual Choices and Relationship Choices.

These choices will greatly impact your life positively or negatively especially in 2018!

The right spiritual choice doesn’t insulate you from life, it however makes life easier to bear as  it offers you the strength needed to hold on till your desired miracle comes. Talking about spiritual choices, I refer to the choice of both seeing darkness and evil everywhere as opposed to seeing light and love all around you. It also includes giving my life to God by asking Jesus into my life to help me drive it. I invite you to make that choice too. This choice has been the bedrock of other choices in my life.

When I talk of spiritual choices, I do not refer to commitment to a church or a Pastor. I refer to your/my commitment to God.  My commitment to what God wants of me in relationship with my environment.  I refer to my commitment to become the extension of God’s hands here on earth. My commitment to help others also to be who/what they should become.

The next important choice in life is relationship choices. As humans, we thrive only in relationship with others. A life of isolation doesn’t help us to develop to our full potentials. Many times as females we shy away from walking together in ways that should impact our lives more positively. This is a mistake.

“We need each other for great impact”.

As children we choose who our friends would be. These early choices are based on our location/environment. Your friends are usually from among your close relatives and friends of your parents and neighbors. As children our choices are less discriminatory. As you grow older, your circle of choice grows wider. Especially in this age of Internet.

If in your years of growth, you are matured, then you would be able to make more informed choices about your relationships. Your spiritual choice and maturity will to a large extent affect your relationship choices.

“As women (career women or entrepreneurs);wives, mothers, daughters, nieces, aunts, grandaunts, grandmothers. etc. We need to make relationship choices that will be of great benefit to our lives”.

The first relationship we need to forge is among ourselves as women, of course you choose such with wisdom.

There are many reasons you may want to give for not having women as friends but I give you reasons why we need each other:

  • A woman understands your pains.
  • A woman can see the way you see things.
  • A woman can offer advice that men wount know how to give
  • A woman will support you when things go wrong. They will cheer for you on your way to the finish line.

When you have female friends who are matured, wise and not frivolous, you are truly blessed.

Of course, like any other choice, making the right one in relationship is important to our blossoming to become who we ought to be.

With the advanced technology available one would expect choices to be easier, but it’s actually more difficult.

However, your choices must be must be matured and informed.  For your choices to be informed, you need real female friends who will tell you the truth in love.

Relationship choices eventually become the yardstick by which our life successes are measured by. 

May we all be married to our friends and not our enemies. We have seen women who married and blossomed, Also women who married and were destroyed. If we have made relationship choices that has given us sad/ bad experiences it should not make us to become hard and cold towards people.

There’s something worse than the loneliness of being single, and that is being lonely when you’re married or in a relationship. That second type of loneliness is pure torture and breeds all sorts of pain, negativity and causes one to malfunction.

A fulfilling relationship is what God wants for us.

Choices of relationship with the opposite sex, which can sometimes culminate into marriage is also important and should be done with great care.

Relationships with anyone shouldn’t be for selfish ulterior motives. Mutually beneficial relationship are more rewarding. (Unless it’s a mentor and Mentee relationship).

Any relationship should make you to become a better person. If a relationship is making you become: hurt, sad, angry, unhappy and depressed most of the time, then you need to remove yourself from such toxic environment.

Don’t give any excuse for anyone – man or woman – to treat you badly in a relationship. You are good enough to be treated with respect, care and kindness. You should also reciprocate such.

Look Around You and Ask Yourself:

  1. What are my goals this year?
  2. What do I want to achieve?
  3. Who are your friends? Online and offline?
  4. What do they contribute into your life? Positives or negatives?
  5. What do YOU contribute in to their lives. Have they helped you to reach a goal before?
  6. Are your friends likely to help you get to where you want this year?

The answers will open your eyes to who to continue with or let go of.

You can’t go mountain climbing Alone. You prepare and choose a team with great care.

So also don’t go alone in 2018. Choose the persons you’ll walk with and work with! It’s important to your success this year.

God created Adam and gave him Eve. A help mate. That was deliberate. He’s telling us not to go alone.

We started with the scripture:

Ecclesiastes 4:9- Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

When two work on a task, they get better rewards or results

Ecclesiastes 4:10- For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

When you have company, you are sure someone is watching out for you

Ecclesiastes  4:12- And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Anyone who wants to fight you, will know you are not alone. You have a partner and you have God.

So think about it . Pray about it also:

  • God, I need a friend that will work and walk with me in 2018. I am tired of being alone

It’s your turn and your time for a turn around, but you can’t do it alone.

That prayer is two pronged: the spinster can pray it for a God fearing husband and Friend. The married can pray it for a true friend in business.

God, these are my goals this year……(enumerate them)

Send me friends to actualize it with me. Also make me a helper to others too.

Join me to pray that prayer and watch God zoom into action for you.

Lord make me a flowing river, as I am blessed, let me be a blessing to others ijn.

ROM 8:28 For all things to work for your good, you must follow God’s purpose.

  • Be blessed then be a blessing!
  • As a wife/ mother/sister/friend.
  • Be blessed but remember to also be a blessing

Who do you want to lift up or bless? Look around you. There are opportunities to be a blessing. While blessing others, yours will flow in. Amen

In conclusion. Christ says your friend or neighbour is whoever you can help.

Thanks for Joining us. Happy Reading.

Guest Speaker- Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi- A Certified Relationship Coach, been in the Ministry for 27years.-(Eliazer Alarena, Back2Eden, The Yuppsies Network/ ICOMA Ideas & Concepts Marketing Associates).

On the 23rd of Feb, 2018, the Lecture Keynote, Orientation on “Sexuality, Sensibility and Spirituality 111 as a course of study for Ladies. Took place on our Whatsapp platform “The Purpose ”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi

Who is Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi?

Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi 61, is a Certified Relationship Coach , having been in Ministry for 27 yrs, married for 25yrs to a beautiful woman (Mrs. Helen Oyeluyi) and blessed with 6boys and 1 girl. 

 He Went into A Private Ministry last year November after serving in various offices including as a Youth Pastor and Counselor in 3 Ministries spanning 27yrs.  Having had the privileged experience – physical, emotional, social physiological and spiritual rating from dating in the world and marrying in Christ Spanning 43 years, his Ministry is of an almost Exclusivity to Women.

Lecture in Details
We looked at What Identity and Purpose means as the platform implies.

Identity – Who are you? (Genesis 1:26-28)

Purpose – Why are you on Earth?

(Purpose is lost without Identity) Both are imbeded in your Sexuality.
Important Analysis as stated by the Guest Speaker –Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi

  • The Principles of God concerning issues of Friendship, Relationship and Marriage has not changed but the Dynamics and Strategies for their applications is New Everyday just like His Words.

Course -SSS111

 This is the class that precludes admission into the University of Marriage.

Many women don’t even know who they are, they are conversant with filling forms and seeing the space Sex (□m /□f).  it’s not boobs, waist or hips that makes you a woman. It’s your creation, and your formation that separates you in that identity. “If all women were the same men won’t be bothered about a choice of who to marry”. Hosea 4:6. God said His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

  • The knowledge of God and His word.
  • The knowledge of His creation -Male and female plus other things (particularly the ones that we find interest in) But the knowledge of the sexes is of utmost importance.
  • The knowledge of the Environment God has placed us.

In some other parts , 40 yr old men don’t see anything wrong in the attempt to sleep with an 8yr old. This is Comprehensive debasement of Identity and Purpose, Lack of understanding of Sexuality, Loss or suspension of Sensibility, Absence or half backed or inadequate Spirituality.

  1. A woman was not created to “please ” men, It was not the purpose of her creation.
  2.  A woman sexuality is so distinct, so complex , that she needs to understand it herself.
  3. A woman conviction of her Sexuality is the necessary freedom from relationship complications and the needed commitment for her imput into it.

Gen 1 Verse 27 and 28

You were created in the image of God, Not of your Parents, Not of your husband to be or the one you have now. That’s how important you are.

Verse 28– he gave the command that brought you into the greatest complimentary role in creation. (Fruitfulness and Multiplication) Gen 2:7
Genesis 2:21-22
So God said he could not find “A help” for Adam. The word “Maid” or househelp is also in the Bible, so I am sure and comprehensively convinced that God was not looking for “A Househelp” for Adam. Because of the complexities of your own formation. God made Adam to Sleep because of the expected complimentary and exceptional helpful role God intended you to play in the lives of men ( please note that this is not the exclusive preserve of your relationship to your husband alone ) God took a rib from his side and formed you. You came from Female and became “Woman”. God did not take the woman out of the man’s feet to be stepped on as an ” inferior “, or out of his head to be put on the pedastal of ” superior ” but from his side, close to his heart as an ” Equal.

It is is the height of the major components of your 1st Identity -The Image of God, just like the Man, It is not the qualifications of boobs, hips or looks. Your Spirituality will bring the necessary humility to regulate the height of pride in your achievements.

Let’s look at how God closes up the totality of your identity in Genesis  2: 24 -From Female To Woman, From Woman To Wife. This is the greatest identity on Earth for the female.

I will break this down from Identity




And we will proceed to demystify


M = Maturity

A = Audacity

R = Resilience

R= Respect

I = Intuition

A= Activities

G= Goodness

E= Expectations

Break down in the contest of SSS111 and Laws – Sexuality, Sensibility, and Spirituality.

    1. As a lady, whatever happens behind you is not your problem.
    2. Your Private Part is located in between your tighs. NOONE,can access it without your permission.
    3. You are the only one empowered to say either A Yes, Or 
  • A No,
  • Or

A Wait.

You are entitled to suitors ( in righteousness) As long as you are not sleeping with anyone, let men compete for your love.

Finally, it is in understanding your own Identity that u can safely appropriate your necessary complimentary role in the life of men.

Also, let me warn Single Sisters to please stop preparing for Wedding and start understanding your Real Identity from the God ordained Identifications graduation for you. Female> Woman>Wife. Wedding is One Day, Marriage is for Life. The choice is yours.

Truth be told – Every Man operates @ 10% of his God Given capacity until you come into his life, God said you are the carrier of Good Things & Favor from Him. “Every woman carries a measure of ” Virtue “.

Part 2 of this Class will be continued later this month. Thanks for reading. We await your comments. God bless

Special Guest – Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi- A Certified Relationship Coach, Counselor at Eliazer Alarena and Back2Eden services. Also President at Yuppsies Network/ ICOMA Ideas & Concepts Marketing Assoc). YUPPSIES is









On the 9th of March. 2018, The Lecture Keynote, “Understanding The Needs and Wants in Men”. (Every man wants a woman but not every man wants a Wife). Lecture Took place on our Whatsapp platform “The Purpose ”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Special Guest – Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi

Who is Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi?

Pst. Olatunde Oyeluyi 61, is a Certified Relationship Coach , having been in Ministry for 27 yrs, married for 25yrs to a beautiful woman (Mrs. Helen Oyeluyi) and blessed with 6boys and 1 girl. 

 He Went into A Private Ministry last year November after serving in various offices including as a Youth Pastor and Counselor in 3 Ministries spanning 27yrs.  Having had the privileged experience – physical, emotional, social physiological and spiritual rating from dating in the world and marrying in Christ Spanning 43 years, his Ministry is of an almost Exclusivity to Women.

Lecture in Details
We looked at the Vision and Mission of the platform.

This Group was birth out of the Platform “Identity and Purpose”, which started on a BBM Channel June 2016.

Mission: Focusing on Young Women trying to find their Voice and Life Purpose.

Vision: I am on a journey to Heal, Love and Contribute to make the world a better place.

My Revolution begins with 2 things. “Light and Love“, Light drives Darkness, Love drives Hatred.

The Purpose – Romans 8:28

There’s no day without a night, there’s no victory without a fight, there’s no joy without some pain! We can’t change the past but we can influence the future. Remember, “Romans 8:28” All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his Purpose for them. (Purpose is lost without Identity)

We started the Lecture with –

Mark 8: 1. In those days the multitude being very great, and having nothing to eat, Jesus called his disciples unto him, and saith unto them,

2. I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now been with me three days, and have nothing to eat:

 3. And if I send them away fasting to their own houses, they will faint by the way: for divers of them came from far.

 4. And his disciples answered him, From whence can a man satisfy these men with bread here in the wilderness?

5. And he asked them, How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven.

6. And he commanded the people to sit down on the ground: and he took the seven loaves, and gave thanks, and brake, and gave to his disciples to set before them; and they did set them before the people.

7. And they had a few small fishes: and he blessed, and commanded to set them also before them.

8. So they did eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets.

9. And they that had eaten were about four thousand: and he sent them away.

Question- Was there any record of anyone there , who was not served?
Answer- No

General Statements made:

  1. Everybody will be served,  for as long as you wait to be served, but everybody will not be served at the same time.
  2. It is your willingness to eat or your sincere hunger that actually determines your patience to wait for you to be served.
  3. If you see your neighbor eating and the Waiters are still serving , you should be rest assured that service will get to you sooner or later!
  4. You won’t be looking into your neighbor’s meal, you’d wait patiently to enjoy your own.
  5. Have you imagine if this was what was served- Rice and Fish, Rice and Chicken, Rice and Turkey, Rice and Meat, Jollof Rice, Fried Rice, Basmati Rice.

Question 2: What is the major food that was served with all the effizy?

Answer: Rice

Men Are Like food, They will always be available,If you are hungry and you really want to eat.

Men are just like Rice, Prepared in whatever form

* Steamed



*White or Yellow or Red

“Rice is Rice”.

Please note:

  • Everyone was served
  • Every one will get a man and marry
  •  Every one was not served at the same time.
  • Every one will not marry at the same time.
  • The premise for the service was the same.
  • Men will always be around all of you.

Let’s ask a Question here 👇

Do you think it was possible for anyone to have stood up and opted to go home ( at least one can go cook at home) in that gathering?

Response : Yes it was possible for someone to go home and cook! But they didn’t want to miss out on the blessings of being in presence of our lord Jesus Christ.

“Jesus, asked you to  sit down and wait to be served, what other guarantee do you require for your food to get to you?

  1. Don’t envy those who got served before you.
  2. Don’t complain about the one serving.

God is not partial but He is an orderly God, I want to assure everyone reading that you will be served for as long as you are patient enough to wait at the feet of Jesus and obey his command to Sit down.

Analysis: So she’s 45 and you are 25, 25 has been served and 45 is waiting to be served. In the feet of Jesus, if he wanted to consider sin and their unfaithfulness, some people would not get food.
Understanding Rice is like understanding Men! Men want a lady that can add value to his life, Men want a lady that can add value to his life, Men want to be respected, Men want to be honored, Men want to be distinguished by your association.
Now, What would you be adding to your Rice?

We have Different Kinds of Men:

  • Some men just want a Girlfriend, But be his friend and show value for higher relationship.
  • Some men want a House Girl, Wash his clothes, Cook his food, Clean his house. He will translate that want to the need of a wife for you to fit the role or he employs a Housekeeper.
  • Some men want a Bedwarmer and a Sex Partner, but trust they were not served at the feet of Jesus.

You can never attract anything you don’t respect, You can never value anything you cannot honour. Your Association should bring some level of Recognition.
I hope you see Differences between the Wants of Men & the Needs of Men. Then, You will know which relationship or attraction deserves your time. The virtuous woman makes the difference.

Prayer: You will be a Need not a Want in Jesus , Mighty Name. Amen

Please remember you will all be served, But not at the same time, Jesus asked 5000 people to sit at his feet. They were all served. There were left overs. “There will still be men left after all if you are married”. You will marry regardless of Age, there’s a Man for Every Woman.

Lessons : There is the need to encourage one another sitting at the feet of Jesus waiting to be served while others are already eating. To stop stigmatizatin, complaints and criticism because of what we see and don’t understand.
      Faith Challenge for Singles

Thank God for the Next 90days, Dance 30 minutes Daily. Get good danceable gospel music and worship God with ur proposed Wedding Dance Steps. Do it with a conviction not just  because of instructions. Then type Done on the Chat Group.God Bless You.

Glory to God! Thanks for Reading, Please drop your comments and invite your Friends to Read. “The Purpose” Platform Link 👇

So, Global Transformers Network inbox me to have an interview. Please read my response here. Click here to read 👇

The vision is to raise kingdom minded individuals to Influence their society through their sectors.. They discovered that there are seven major gates of the society(health, Business/ Economic, IT/Entertainment/Media,Religion…Etc) and that if they as kingdom ambassadors could function well in our various sectors,they can influence these various sectors with Kingdom principles.
Please Read and drop your comments. Thank you.

On the 20th of April. 2018, The Lecture Theme: Self Discovery and Self Believe ). Took place on our Whatsapp platform “Identity and Purpose ”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Mrs.Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu

Who is Mrs. Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu?

She is a Wife, a Mother, a Friend, also an author, identity coach, a publisher and mental wellness coach,  She is the CEO of  Hadar Creations (Publishing Company). Tag line is “To Publish and Unpublish from your mind in order to publish you”.

Mrs. Oluwatosin has a Master’s degree in business administration (MBA) from the Cardiff Metropolitan University United Kingdom, and also has a LL.M in international dispute resolution from Humboldt University Germany .

She is a trained arbitrator, negotiator and mediator.

Her mediating skills are clearly evident in her books which advocates for women, children and against bullying of any form.

Lecture in Details

We looked at how Mrs. Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu started her journey of self discovery.

She didn’t get to a place in her life, then decided to go on the journey of finding who she was created to be. Experiences and the travails of life battered her so much till she got to a point where she heard the Holy Spirit whisper to her to start blogging.

Prior to then she had been jobless for 6 years, she did a clothing business but it didn’t work out, people owed her till the business sank so it was as if she was jinxed. It was like her life would never amount to anything. She watched her mates and people that were younger  than her progress speedily, making money and getting promoted at work while she remained stagnant. She had a Law degree, She had even travelled to the United Kingdom to get an MBA, still  no job. The only good thing she had was the gift of life and the gift of her darling husband. Along the line she had her first child. That was when she really became troubled and depression began to stare at her in the face. 

Motherhood opened up a well of desperation in her and she wanted more. She went back to school again and got another Masters in Law in International dispute resolution right there in Germany where we lived.

She had thought, that would open greater doors but it was all a lie. She was just sad, weary, broke and so dependent on her husband in a strange land where both couples needed to earn money in order to be able to save for the family.One day she had applied for a job and passed the exam to the glory of God and to her surprise, so she was elated and waiting for the next stage of interview. She had started planning for child care, you know how you plan ahead for something you are so sure about? That was how much she had planned mentally, all of a sudden she received an email from the HR that said she was not the right fit for the job. Her whole world collapsed and she began to cry so hard. JIt was as if a tank of tears was let loose in her. She cried so hard and her husband was afraid. He told her, she was the matriarch of their home. Lol, and that if she crash as a result of this disappointment then her son and him were going to crash too. He encouraged and motivated her and told her to keep trying and that one day God will answer their prayers and she would get a job. Besides he said he was not complaining, he has a good job so they could get by

However she was sad, she needed to do something with her life, She knew she was beginning to sink into mediocrity, she needed to find a way out of such entrapment. She needed a way out. This was her thought while she laid down on the carpet the following day while their baby was sleeping in the noon, and she heard “Start blogging”.

It was like a soft whisper but she knew that voice too much not to know that it was the Holy Spirit, She stood up and immediately began a research, and that was how she bought a domain name, which has now been changed to due to the beauty and the power of Self Discovery.

She didn’t know what God was doing when he said she should start blogging, but she knew she needed to just obey. The moment she began to write she was writing about some issues she had buried so deep in her heart. She was writing about them bit by bit, sometimes it could be an issue of unforgiveness in her heart towards someone in the past, sometimes it could be something that angered her deeply about our society. The more she wrote the better she felt. The lighter she became. It was as if she was shedding the weight she had in her heart as a result of writing. That was how it was for 9 months till she heard again about authorship right on the hospital bed when she delivered her daughter. She knew that voice again, so she obeyed despite the fact that she is usually overwhelmed and depressed after having a baby. She started writing my first book-“Motherhood and the society” and she finished writing it in about 8 weeks. While writing it, a memory from her childhood struck her, and she was so angry that she wanted to go and make a post about it on Facebook. It was about her Father’s brother. He emotionally battered her brother and her on his way to go buy them shoes as instructed by their dad.

Her parent were separated by then already. This man cursed she and her brother to and fro the shoe shop. She was just 7 years then while her brother was 10. That memory came from nowhere, and she had already typed a long post on Facebook to educate people on what was usually done to the mind of a child from a dysfunctional home when the Holy Spirit told her to make it into a book. She got a title there and there when she had not even finished writing her first book and the title was From the Perspective of the Child. She set a target for herself and after launching her first book in March, she wrote and launched her second and third book which was a work of fiction in December. Her third book is titled Life on the Street of Readlooks, it’s about life on Facebook.

To begin with- She took a break from the social media 12am January 1 this year. She was praying and waiting on God. She knew God was set to release something very powerful in her life this year. She knew he has been taking her through the rudiment from March 2016 when she started writing so internally. She was ready for what the Lord had in stock. “For you to discover you, and who you are created to be you need to come to a place of readiness” She came to that place of total readiness in December 2017. And she positioned herself for what the Lord was ready to do in her life even though she didn’t know what it was.

Fastforward to sometimes in January this year she was in the kitchen and she began to write about the titles of her blog articles for the year. She also began to write about the books she wanted to write for the year. As she was writing, she wrote down IDENTITY. She took a step back, she have never paid attention to that word before in her life, She knew she was very strong willed, had a mind of her own, but she have never really paid attention to that word identity before and who she really was.

She looked at that word in her paper, and she said hmmm that would make an awesome article then the Holy Spirit said, no it’s not an article it’s a BOOK! She was like wow, but what does she know about IDENTITY that she was going to write in a book?

Immediately she remembered an incident that happened in her secondary school. She was chosen with another girl to contest for the position of the senior prefect girl. She was shocked and felt like this was a set up. This lady is better than her, what does she know? She has better leadership skills so she voted for her when it was time for her to cast her vote. The ballot was counted, I had 13 vote while she had 12 votes, she became my assistant senior prefect girl while i became the head girl. The flashback of that incident was something that hit her real deeply and She knew ok, the Lord wants her to write about IDENTITY.  Immediately inspiration began to pour in and she wrote so much to her amazement in two weeks the book was done, though on hold and not published yet.

What is self discovery? Below is an excerpt from her soon to be published book “IDENTITY”

Aristotle said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”. She could not help but agree with this wise quote. There is a beautiful power that lies in discovering who you really are. You become so self-aware that you begin to view the world from a different lens. Self-awareness is a gift. It is something that eludes a lot of people till they die. Discovering who you are and who you are meant to be is the best gift you can give to yourself and to the world. It is the best gift the Holy Spirit can reveal to you as a child of God.”

The bible says in Jeremiah 1:5. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. This simply means as a child of God, greatness is embedded in your DNA. You can’t afford not to discover that greatness because self discovery makes the world go round.

Discovering means many others would also discover themselves because you discovered you! The destinies that are tied to yours rotting away in entrapment would be set free and their greatness birthed just because you discovered who you are, and who God had created you to be.

You see why you are going to be doing the world a great favour by discovering you?

Here is an excerpt from her book IDENTITY brought out from the chapter on Self Discovery and how to begin your journey on self discovery.

How do you begin the journey of self discovery?

“I want you to know that if you are confused and uncertain about your gifts, just go to God and observe a quiet moment while you talk to him.

Read books on finding purpose, listen to messages from men and women of God that are motivational, look for Bishop TD. Jakes books, his messages are all over YouTube, listen to them.

You need something motivational to propel you forward, you need to hear the humble story of self-discovery of many of the great men and women you admire and see so you can realize that what you are going through now on your journey to finding purpose is normal and that they have all walked that path. (like she had shared her story above).

You need to also seat down and ask yourself some serious questions.

What do you like to do best?

What interests you the most about life?

What makes your heart to beat so fast when you listen to it, watch it, read it or discuss it?

What infuriates you the most when you come across it anywhere?…….Many people run away from what they do not like and avoid it. However what you hate most could be a path to your destiny. It could be the propeller you need to right the wrong by submitting yourself to the service of creating a solution to that thing. Move closer to that thing, and if you do not want to, you can study it from afar in order to understand it thoroughly so you can be inspired on creating a solution to it in order to help other people.

One of the things I hated to see or witness around me was bullying. It just rips my heart out and makes me extremely angry and sad watching any form of bullying. When I realized I could not keep quiet about it anymore, most especially the amount of bullying that happens on the social media space, I wrote my third book, a work of fiction titled “Life on the street of Readlooks” and the last chapter was demystifying bullying. That was my contribution to helping people understand how bullies operate on the social media and how to co-exist with them without becoming their victim.

Lastly what part of your childhood do you constantly remember?

I remember a lot of things about my childhood and my connection to some of the things that happened to me while I was a child were a major influence in writing all my books. You would have noticed that already in this book, and you would still see more of that as you read on. Don’t discard your childhood no matter how unpleasant it was. Those memories could be the connection to your self-discovery which would help in launching you to your purpose.


This simply means believing in yourself and trusting yourself to do right and do good through Christ which strengthens you. After you have discovered who you are, or beginning to discover who you are, a lot of new things would be discovered by you  in you. A lot of treasures would be unearthed in you. Treasures that could scare you due to the extent of their richness and greatness. They could be so overwhelming that you might develop a cold feet if you do not believe you can SHOW UP! What does it mean to show up?

“Many of us hunger for opportunities and open doors that could take us to our next point in life. We dream for these opportunities and crave for them desperately.

We pray, fast and work hard for these opportunities, however when those opportunities present themselves we self-destruct by not SHOWING UP.

We begin to look for excuses on why we cannot make it, we begin to waste time and drag our feet, some of us even out rightly become unavailable and our helpers or connectors begin to chase us around in order to SHOW UP for something we have begged or hungered for.

Many of these behaviors that make us self destruct are psychological and this is why you need to rise above them by rooting out every wall of limitation in you ranging from fear, low self esteem, self comparison, what will people think, shame etc.

In continuation, I want you to know that we are in a world where people would do everything to project their fears and limitations in you, they would make you doubt your new self. You are also going to lose many friends because of the new you. They cannot fathom who you are anymore, and who you have now become makes them uncomfortable, and because they have been toxic all along stringing you along, they begin to take themselves out of your life one after the other. Some of them would even accuse you that you have become negative. they say this in order to confuse your new sense of self. That is why you need to be well grounded on the journey of self discovery. You can’t afford not to take along self believe with you because that is what would keep you on track and to be able to stand firm while you discover more and more of who you are.

“I would love to let you know that Doubt and Fear is normal on your way to self-discovery and walking in purpose. I would be superficial if I say it is not, but you need to snap out of it so you can forge ahead and make progress in executing your dream and vision. As a matter of fact if you don’t believe in yourself, the world would smell it and see through you, dream and vision killers would feed on this and help you in shutting the door finally on your purpose.

Don’t EVER doubt yourself on this journey of self discovery, as you go along that journey take along with you SELF BELIEVE. It is a good companion and it will keep you grounded, focused and energized. It will help you navigate through the negativities of this world and the toxic people who would want to crush you on your way to fulfilling purpose.

I appreciate you all and I look forward to your testimonies on your journey of self discovery and IDENTITY.

Here is a free E-workbook I wrote on identity Its a practical insight into discovering your identity.

here is the link for the free download on our publishing website and online book store

I don’t want to dabble this class to relationships and the rest because that is another broad topic that’s why I stayed out of it.  However I have an eBook for you on sexual harassment. Knowing who you are and how to avoid every form of sexual harassment in school and at work. Here is the link to the free download

The book IDENTITY comes out in August and its a must have for everyone who truly wants to walk in purpose. The book is loaded, as in very loaded. I didn’t just write that book I was divinely inspired to. I wrote down every whisper and thought. The book is on finding self, aunthenticity and leadership.

I leave you with this quote as I end my Lecture.

 “Discovering your identity is like war, maintaining your identity is a greater war. When the kings begin to show up, are you still going to maintain your Identity”? Ponder on this. -OOA. Answers can be found in my book IDENTITY. You can imagine a lot of secrets to discover there.


  • Being a child I had so much Courage that I could stand up to any situation expecially in my family. But now I noticed am shrinked cause people say am bossy and proud I always like to be in charge and those words gets to me a lot in such cases what do I do?


Shirk it. Don’t allow those words to manifest in you. People seek to kill what they do not understand. People seek to tarnish what makes them uncomfortable. People do not want you to shake their world or reality. So those damage that was done to clip your wings from childhood needs to be rooted out. The was your strength. I have a write up on humility I will be sharing in the team next week. Humility has defined or expected by NIgerians, Africans is farce. They use it to destroy and kill potentials. If you pander to it it is at your own risk. They have used that word humility to kill talents. Parents and the society have used it to cut the wings of greatness in childrenPlease begin nurture that gift again and develop it. Don’t let those words kill that talent.


  • How do I overcome the spirit of fear?.I do fear almost everything,even the things I know I can do.And sometimes I just feel lost as if I don’t even know who I am or why I am existing.


You need to become daring. If you are afraid to speak somewhere then begin to speak from somewhere. Show up, bring yourself as you are, no holds barred. The truth is that the right people will appreciate you when you SHOW UP as you with all your flaws.

In Conclusion: You need to root out every form of people pleasing. People pleasing is a sign of deeply rooted form of low self esteem.

Thanks for Reading. Hadar Creations page is in Facebook and also Hadar Creations Team, the team is the place we coach.

Guest Speaker- Mrs. Olabisi Obiajulu Ugboh(BeeCee) – A Song Writer, a Model, an Actor, Rapper,  Relationship Expert and a TV Host.

On the 18th of May. 2018, The Lecture Theme: No Man was made for a specific Woman. Took place on our Whatsapp platform “Identity and Purpose”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Mrs.Olabisi Obiajulu Ugboh

Who is Mrs. Olabisi Obiajulu Ugbor?(BeeCee)

BeeCee Ugboh is a Wife, Mother, Sister and Indeed one of Nigeria’s Fastest Growing Female Rapper, She is a kingdom hip hop recording artiste who raps with a blend of English and igbo.

BeeCee Ugboh is also a Song writer, whose real name is Obiajulu Olabisi Ugboh ; a graduate of political science from delta state university. She also holds an international diploma in Montessori Education from The Centre of Educational Research and Development India.

She already calved a Niche for her style of Music Called ” ENGLIBO”

BeeCee Ugboh started her career in music in 2011 after which she was nominated for Next rated Category at The Nigerian Gospel Music Awards 2012 ( NGMA) which she won.

Some of Beecee Ugboh singles track(s) audio and videos are getting massive air play locally and internationally connecting with new fans everyday.

She’s also a relationship expert and a TV host at TV Continental Lagos (Your View) . She also runs an online radio program and Car series called  –Love Angles with BeeCee Ugboh.

BEECEE UGBOH has a FOUNDATION (BUF) that positively change the lives of the less privilege people towards a positive lifestyle, and get a society in which those who are vulnerable and poor are able to facilitate their own development and their communities in general.

Lecture in Details

She shared how she came from an abusive home, she didn’t know her mum cos she left her dad who was constantly hitting her when she was 11months old. So she grew up without her mother and left at the mercy of several step mothers cos her father kept changing them. But she realized at 16yrs of age that she had a unique wisdom on relationship matters. She had a deep knowledge of such issues that elderly women were already seeking her advise . So at that age, she was mature in mind and ready for marriage though she wanted to experience life in full first before settling and she’s glad she did.

In the course of her counseling life , she started realising that most of the problems encountered in marriage would have been averted if the people involved took time out to understand themselves first for themselves, love themselves and have a healthy psychological function of the mind. She explained….most people get into marriages thinking, it would fix them or make them happy, not realizing that marriage is like an empty box. “You bring what you want to see”.

We have also been misled to think that God picks a partner for us or that there is only one right person for us which is a Myth. No specific person is meant for a specific other. If we both handle ourselves properly, learn what we need to learn in terms of having strong character traits, goodness of heart, ability to respect anyone, less ego, true love for humanity etc we find that we can easily fit into any life and make it better.

She remember in her 300level as a student, she sent the name of her boyfriend to her mum who requested that she wanted to pray to find out the right person for her. So she did and  the answer was no that he wasn’t right for her. Naturally she’s a stubborn person and so she ignored and continued her relationship with her boyfriend. Cos even at that time, she knew that any good man can be her husband and her boyfriend was a good man. He fit into her idea of an ideal husband, a friend, a dream supporter, a planner, he had his head on his shoulder and even when he was a bloody student without a dime, she knew that he was good for her( “He’s drop dead gorgeous too”.)

A couple of years later after he had graduated, got a good job and bought a car, she being a trouble maker😁 asked her mum to pray again and guess the response this time. YES

Just imagine if she had dumped the poor guy who she knew was ideal for her just because a man of God prayed and said he wasn’t 😭😭😭😭

Ponder on that.

God has given us instincts for a reason. Remember we ourselves are gods…….. we have placed our power on others for a long time now and so instead of using our heads to think, we rely on others to tell us what we can find out for ourselves.

A lot of us ignore red signals in our relationship because someone have told us the person is our husband or we saw him in our dreams or believe we can change the persons attitude in marriage.

She went further to explain certain signs that tell you he or she is not the one. She has tons of relationship videos on YouTube @beeceeugboh

  • For Example, you are dating a guy who when he is upset throws things around or damages property and you say because he hasn’t hit you yet, that he’s not abusive???? Lady, in that marriage he will definitely hit you, that’s a clear sign already.
  • Someone who takes care of himself more like a man who always shops for clothes and shoes for himself without buying for you. You think he’ll suddenly start buying for you in marriage???? Nne think again, he’ll empty your joint acc on himself alone in marriage.

To function effectively in a marriage, a person needs to be whole, happy in themselves and psychologically ready to share everything with another person. Most marriages pack up out of selfishness on the part of a partner or both partners.

You cannot give what you do not have. If you are naturally wicked, you’ll definitely take your wickedness to your marriage, if you are a lazy person, you’ll take laziness along too . And that is why it’s very important to seek to know your partner in depth before you marry.

Some people have argued that you can’t really know a person while dating and I agree because we usually present our best selfs in the course of dating. BUT no man can act 24 hours a day, 365 days a year……… they are bound to be slips and if you are sensitive you can pick on those slips.

Back in time men and women married for political and financial gains and we recorded less divorce, Now with the so called romance and technology, we have an alarming rate of divorce.

Religion has also not helped us in the sense that the basic things Jesus taught have been misinterpreted by men of God, just to keep us under control, making us believe that the only way we can get true happiness and contentment is by only coming to fellowship.

If everyone will groom themselves to be their best version, be good no matter what, love humanity unconditionally, understand that we are human beings and bound to make mistakes, know that people fight different personal battles and try to empathize with them, then we’ll find that we can live with anybody. No matter who and no matter where.

Her husband could have married another woman and still be a good man to his wife because naturally he is a good man.

That tells me that our marriage issues can easily be fixed, if we work on ourselves to be better, no matter our experiences and the conditions life throws at us.

She grew in an abusive home but told herself that she was gonna be the best Mum to her kids, the best wife to her husband, the best daughter inlaw’s to her inlaw’s and she’s there already. It’s a conscious effort, a lot of hard work, but because she determined to make it work.One would think that she will be violent when upset considering her upbringing but it will shock you to know that in 16yrs of knowing her husband and 10yrs of marriage they have NEVER had a shouting match. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have issues but she learnt to apply wisdom.

Seeking God is also one of the most important but most of us seek him wrongly. To know God starts from a knowledge of you cos we are made from the same fabric and connected to one another. In Him we live, move and have our being. The very air you breathe is God. If you have that understanding, you’ll realize that God has never left you any day and He wants you to trust Him to lead you through your heart, instincts, endowments and then you can listen to yourself.

Being in connection with God is natural and not only when you are in church or in a spiritual program……… we need to understand that we are eternal beings, connected to our source who is God……..and He wants us to be happy and amazing and be our greatest version even in marriage.

And so God is pleased when we can see beyond excitement and money and looks into compatibility, friendship, goodness.


A real Experience:

She met a guy in NySc who was cool and they got close but she noticed that he had a wicked heart as much as punishing animals when they upset him. She stayed in a compound full of rats disturbing, so one day he came visiting and he helped her catch one rat.

Do you know this guy tied the rat to a stick and was flogging this rat. It sounded funny when she was recounting the story but that triggered something in her that this guy is merciless and he’ll suffer his spouse in the future.

She also noticed that he was only nice to the person he’s involved with or he likes. He never helps out any body else. He’ll see women carrying heavy loads on their head and he won’t try to assist or give a helping hand.

So tomorrow if per adventure the butterflies fades which always happens, in marriage, he’ll revert to his natural wicked self.

Everyone has got a God given instinct, to pick out such signs but we most often than not ignore it. Nobody is perfect but it’s important to know what your deal breakers are in marriage and avoid it.

The most important thing is to be a good person by yourself, learn to love yourself, appreciate your self, work on your self esteem, go ahead and dream big, achieve for yourself, impact humanity positively and bring value to your marriage.

When you are constantly good, even if you’ve made the mistake of marrying a terrible person, over time you can win him over with love.

Finally, God is not in the business of selecting wife/hubby or career for us, he has given us the power of CHOICE.

To check other wonderful post of BeeCee Ugboh, click on

Contributions by Identity and Purpose members 👇

Precious E. Erhauyi said –

The issue here is compatibility…

Do more work on self discovery… who, what, and how are you, first… before you can know the right person who fits into your life!

I believe one of the issue we face is being too fanatic (spirituality) so much so that we forget we’re in charge of every choice we make:

Let’s consider this illustration together:

A lady who dreamed of becoming an international super star in music has two suitors… both are called Micheal

One is Michael Jackson and the other is Mike Tyson…

I believe Micheal Jackson’s input will go a long way to assisting in her dream rather than the musculature of Mike Tyson!

That’s how compatibility works…

You need this idea in other areas too! Your choice of Micheal Jackson is God’s leading already —Fact!

Opeyemi Akanni said- All in all, first contact should be God, open your heart, eyes & mind for red flags.

Mrs BeeCee Ugboh said –I believe that everyone should have a personal relationship with God. Have a daily work with God, have a daily conversation with God. Commit your daily activities into God’s hands, listen for inspiration from God and understand how He speaks to you.

The first question is why you want to date?

For marriage purposes or just to have a friend?

Secondly can I be friends with this persons personality? Even if we do not end up marrying?

Does this person fit into my ideal man?

These are a few of the questions God won’t ask you???? You will have to find out yourself

If the person fits, then as you talk with God regularly you can ask him for signs and trust me the signs will already be there. Because God is in charge of your everyday, He has a way of protecting you even before you realize it.

We give Glory to God for the success of this Wonderful seminar, thanks to the Host and Our Guest Speaker.

Thanks to Members , Visitors and Readers. God bless us all. 

Guest Speaker- Miss Ify Diane Egbri.  – An Educator, A Sickle Cell Warrior, An Advocate for Eradication of Sickle cell Anaemia.

On the 6th of July. 2018, The Lecture Tagged: Is your Love Compatible? Took place on our Whatsapp platform “Identity and Purpose”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Miss Ify Diane Egbri.

Who is Miss. Ify Diane Ebri?

Ify Diane Egbri is a 38years Old Strong and Determined Woman ; An Educator and A Sickle Cell Anaemia Advocate; She’s not defined by a diagnosis.

She’s from Delta State, A graduate from the University of Benin, Benin City Edo state, with a Bsc. in Microbiology, and a civil servant working with Delta State University Teaching Hospital, Oghara, Delta State.

She was Diagnosed with Sickle cell Anaemia disease at only 3 months, as a sickle cell warrior, she has battled this disease for 38 years and by Gods grace, she has won every battle till date.

When pains brings her down to her knees, she cries and pray about it, she nurse the pains and dust Her knees off, she gets up and keep on fighting.

She’s Beautiful and Wonderfully made, A Giver and a Children Lover, Supporter and a Woman of God.


Love Compatibility and Sickle Cell.

Is your love compatible? Before you say say “Yes” to that beautiful proposal; Before you say “Yes” to that handsome bobo; Before you say “Yes” to that pretty sisi, Do you know your genotype?

Statistic has shown that Nigeria has the largest population of people with Sickle Cell Disease in the world, with over 150,000 babies born with this serious condition every year. Can you just imagine? Why because we lack awareness.

What is Sickle cell disease?

Sickle cell anaemia is a disease where the body produces abnormally shaped red blood cells like in the picture below 👇

These sickled cells block the blood vessels which causes severe excruciating indescribable pains called *Crisis*.

Sickle cell disease is date back as far as the 1870 and the children were called “Ogbanje” meaning children that come and go. So the children were labelled “cursed”, it became a “Stigma” to be SS and were generally called *Sickler* which is a derogatory word.

This disease is inherited, meaning, it is passed by genes from parents to children and it’s not contagious, stop stigmatising people with SS.

When I was in secondary school, I tried my best to keep this secret because some kids can be mean but some how a classmate saw a sick pass in my bag stating am SS and *Boom)*, that was it ohhh…I was looked at somehow with a sorry look on their faces from a distant oh, they won’t come near me..Some will even say to my face, I hear you will die before you are 21 years and Others will say, see this sickler, please go your way oh I don’t want to fight with you, after all you will die soon.

So instead of making jest or feeling unsolicited pity for people with sickle cell disease, please, show empathy and be strong for them, pray with them, laugh with them, cry with them, stand with them.
Help kick out this disease from our society today and stop bringing babies into this world to suffer.
*Genotype & It’s Appropriate Suitor:*

1. AA + AA = Excellent

2. AA + AS = Good

3. AA + SS = Fair

*4. AS + AS = Bad*

*5. AS + SS = Very Bad*

*6. SS + SS = Extremely Bad (In fact, don’t try it)…*

Please and please, avoid numbers 4, 5 and 6, so we can help kick sickle cell disease out of Nigeria.

The first step to learn about this illness is, get to know the things that commonly trigger a sickle cell crisis and how to avoid them:

An insufficient amount of water in the body (dehydration) is one of the most common causes of a sickle cell crisis. In this situation the blood becomes thicker and sickled shaped red blood cells are more likely to stick together and cause a blockage in the blood circulation.

Dehydration can be caused by:

– Sweating

– Diarrhoea or vomiting

-Frequent urination…

So take about 18 glass of water daily.

Tired of Water? Try Fruit, Tea, Soup, Milk, Juice etc…

B. Infection

Infection is the most common trigger for a sickle cell crisis. Please treat common infections such as cough, mosquito bites and infected wound on the ankle quickly to avoid chronic leg ulcer which can be very difficult to treat in people with sickle cell disease. Also improper preparation of food, poor hygiene causes infections and trigger crisis so please pay attention.

C. Not taking recommended medications and vaccinations can trigger crisis* So please, always take your recommended drugs like your Folic acid, your vitamins, and your sunday sunday medicine.
D. Avoid Extreme Weathers, Being too cold or too hot can trigger crisis.

It’s rainy season, pains can be more severe and occur more frequently in cold weathers, so it’s important to stay warm and dry. *Also please note, pneumonia is the number 1 cause of death in children with SS*, please keep them warm and anytime he/she coughs or tells you that he/she has chest pain, please tell your paediatrician to run a test for pneumonia and treat urgently.

During hot whether it is necessary to keep the body cool and well hydrated because we loose water when we sweat, so drink lots of water and any other safe fluids.

E. Not eating for long periods* can trigger a sickle cell crisis due to not having enough nutrients in the body for maintaining normal bodily functions. If fasting, please seek your doctor’s advice so you don’t put your health at risk.
F. Avoid Stress and Emotional Anxiety* Like exam stress, this one I struggled with.

I was in medical school, Uniben, I couldn’t cope anymore when I wrote my first MBBs in 300level, I had to drop out from medical school and ended up reading Microbiology because it was less stressful.

Recommended Balanced Diet include;

Calcium-rich foods such as low-fat milk, yogurt, leafy green vegetables, soymilk, Fruits like Banana is highly recommended, orange, dried fruit, ground nuts and smoothies if your child doesn’t have much of an appetite.

Avoid Unripe plantain– It contains Iron which is not good for those with sickle cell disease”.


When in crisis, I find the hot water bag very useful, just place it at where you feel the pains most BUT please adults only because we can tell if it’s too hot and avoid burns unlike kids..

Also to boost my blood, I wash ugwu (pumpkin leaf) with very little water, sieve and drink, you can add salt or honey or anything that can help you drink it with ease because the aroma and taste is not pleasant ohhhh , but seriously it works like magic.
In summary

~Take folic acid & other recommended  drugs daily,

~Drink plenty of water,

~Eat a balance and healthy diet,

~Avoid extreme temperatures,

~Exercise regularly, but don’t overdo it,

~Avoid taking Alcohol, it increases dehydration.

After all said, please put it at the top of your minds, Prevention is better than *Cure* but Sickle Cell disease does not have a cure, yet, it can only be managed. So in this case, *Prevention* is better than *Managing* the disease.

Thank you!

Case Study

A very good friend got to know very late in her relationship that the man she is dating is AS as her. She confided in me and I told her to *HALT* that thought of getting married to him, She said she’s trusting God, that she won’t have sickle cell babies since it’s 50 50 chance.

When two AS AS marry, there’s the possibility of having one or two sickle cell babies…
Then I asked her one question, you are very much aware of the outcome of a possible sickle cell baby, so why do you want to test God?
Also a couple is As As and they are aware, they plan on using a new technology that can tell the genotype of the foetus at about two months, then if it’s SS, the pregnancy will be aborted. How many abortions is she willing to undergo and loose her womb in the process?

Ladies and Gentlemen, please and please, do not assume, do all necessary tests before marriage to be sure of your status. This disease has broken so many homes, it’s God grace that my family is still intact, after so many trials, hospitalised like two to three times every year.

The pains can come at anytime of the day, this minute am fine and playing with other kids in the compound, the next minute am in serious excruciating pains. Most times, the pains comes at night, at about 1am – 2am waking the full house, my siblings and my parents will sit around me, crying, telling me sorry, sorry, that was all they could do, they were helpless.
One time I saw my dad crying because he couldn’t help his child, even as young as I was then, that broke my heart. My mum will always be crying and begging me, “Please my daughter, forgive us, we didn’t know anything about genotype then”. And I tell her immediately, it’s not their fault, and God can bear me witness, I have never blamed them for been SS, NEVER!!
As an adult, I learnt to encourage them also, sometimes when am down, I don’t tell my parents not even my siblings, because I have learnt how to manage myself and give them that much needed hope I know they need. In the first 14 years of my life, I suffered a great deal because my parents try to manage with some home remedy which didn’t work much but they know that after some hours, the pain will go away on it’s own without going to the hospital and that takes like crying for like 30mins to an hour or two. But when it doesn’t subside, I will be rushed to the hospital in the morning where I will be hospitalised for some days, my mum sleeps on the ground in different hospitals.

My parents and siblings shuttles home, school, office and hospital twice daily to see me. You can imagine the strain and stress it puts on the home. Sometimes sudden crisis can spoil planned events for my family, I will feel so bad, Am so grateful to God for my Dad, Mr. G.O Egbri, my mum, Dr. (Mrs.) J.N Egbri, my immediate kid sister Barr. Ufuoma Bivbere, my kid brother, Engr. Ochuko Egbri and our lasty, my baby brother, Chuka Egbri for always rallying around me, they never get tired; they bring so much joy in my life, they have been the greatest support system of my life from God almighty.

From this time, when am sick, I will go and knock on my parents door in the middle of the night, then after sometime, my younger brother learnt how to drive and he was the one taking me to the health centre because my parents were getting too old for the weekly mid-night run to the clinic where I will be treated and when the pains subsides, am taken home. In all these, my parents didn’t spare me from house chores, I was given responsibilities and treated like my other siblings, so please I urge parents or guardians to treat SS kids as normal as possible so they don’t turn out lazy or have this notion that they can’t help themselves. I remember on numerous occasions when I will be sick on a school day, my parents will take me for treatments and when I feel better, am off to school, so that I don’t use been sick as excuse not to go to school. This also made me strong, it empowered me, I had this fulfilment that sickle cell can’t keep me down.
As an adult, after crying, I wipe my tears, I stand up and I keep moving. Even in my place of work, my job was very demanding at first when I started newly, closing 5pm, 6pm, I breakdown when I get home, I go for treatments, the next day, I put on my clothes, make-up, my high heels, brush my hair stylishly and am off to work, Sickle cell has never put me down, I *REFUSED* to be put down; Who did it???? *GOD ALMIGHTY*, please help me say  Thank You Jesus.

It has started taking it’s toll on my hip bones so I don’t walk well again since 2016…

But my brother and I are still here, who did it? JESUS!!!

Members Stories shared:

Linda Says

Love is really not Enough!!!!!!

My brother,  Emmanual has been battling with sickle cell for the past 32yrs, the only male among 5 ladies.

I watched him all my life go through series of pains(crisis)/admission upon admissions, dropping out of school because anytime he is preparing to write a major exam to take him to the next level he falls sick due to the stress.

The monthly, yearly pains in his joints has disfigured is legs and he is not happy about it. My mum is still suffering the prize for her love for my dad , he is late now gone for good free from his mistakes but my mum is still in it.

Dear people like what Ify has said love is not enough, be double sure please before you say yes to any one. If you do the prize is a life time thing and your child might not forgive u especially if you are educated.

Mrs Becky talked on relationship issues with carriers of the Gene while she shared her story.

My name is Becky. I was aware of the gravity of my status only after I finished my high school and had to go out to search for employment in order to supplement the family income. As a young and promising girl with so much passion for dressing and passion for reading I was called  (mei yanga) in Hausa and a book worm in school.
My parents both never knew their genotype and of course my dad is like that guy who hates to have test done so they had two of us.

My mum struggled to keep us alive in every way possible while my dad keeps denying the fact that he has children with special needs. All the do and don’t is only effective when mum’s eyes is on us. But once she turns the other way, we go back to flaunting the rules.
However when I applied for a job in an American company and I was asked to go for a medical test, The scale came off me. I spent three months training the computer department on how to use computers that was in the early 90s.

After three good months of the exercise and I saw I don’t like the a/c , I always go  out to get my warmth, But all these while it never occurred to me that my gene was responsible.

Though I know doctors warned me to stop taking cold things but I won’t listen, I chew ice block and drink cold things. When I get my crises mum suffers. But I didn’t believe it’s the reason. I was also in the denial position as my dad.
I fight in school if I have to, I engage in sports i am asked not to… all out of ignorance.
After three months the) company said I am relieved of my duty for the simple reason that I am aneamic. I said I don’t possess any deseas hence I won’t take that, Besides I don’t even know what aneamic means for crying out loud. The ended up taking my prized job.
And I resolved that I am going to have my own company, employ people and own computers. Meanwhile I had some suitors that have eyes on me, Some stupid self acclaimed errand boys who claim to be my friends are the same person’s who go behind me and tell these guys that I am a sickler.
They make them run so much so that these guys watch me from a distance and pity themselves not me.
I went about my life like every normal kid, I applied for jobs from the vacancies in the news Paper and I always come tops in all interview, so getting a job was not difficult. I only back out once I am told I would have a medical test. I became self conscious.

I changed my friends and my environment before I got some bold suitors who came along. When I started having them I was determined that I won’t be yoked with a carrier so I am careful not to allow any relationship start until I stylishly asked for their genotype. Once I know they are carriers I turned them to great friends.. The relationship part gone. However when I have a good AA, it’s either they are flirts or chicken hearted because of the stigmatisation.
My friends asked me not to reveal myself to them but I am a believer in solid foundation. I won’t start anything on a lie!
I had a guy we got talking and became good friends. This guy just popped up the question which I already guessed would come up and I have done my subtle findings from him about his genotype, So I know he is an AS so I know it’s a no go place. I never developed any love for him but he became my very best confidant when I had to tell him we can’t be together

He asked me why.. And I told him but he refused to believe. He said I was deliberately pushing him away and I said No. We had to go to the lab together for him to believe me and being a science graduate, he made lots of researches on my gene and still insist we get married.

When I insisted No, he said he wishes to have a child like me. He said he won’t mind having a sickler as a child

I smiled and thank him for the complement but I stood my ground. He got married and related my story to his wife and I became a special friend to the family.

I had so many disappointments more because of the stigma associated with our acquired gene and the fear that we won’t last a long time. My mum was told this several, that we won’t get Past 20-21, but they fail to realise that they are not God.

Founder of Identity and Purpose (Folake Odidi and Mrs Becky on her Wedding Day- 3rd of  July. 2018

Today I am 48yrs and still waxing strong and God who loves faithful servants never left them. At 48 I got married to a wonderful man who believes God is the healer of all ailments.

Please never give up on your resolve to be yoked to the right Gene. And yes today I am an entrepreneur with all I promised myself.
Why do you need to hear this Testimony?

To encourage all parents with children living with this disorder and To let you know that there is life beyond what the doctors say. God is all faithful and you as a Parent, relation, friends, you all have a part to play in eradicating this stigmatisation. LET’S FIGHT THIS TOGETHER.

Pst Oyeluyi Olatunde, Corah Amiel, Dammy, Rhema, Oluwafolakemi, Abosede, Bukola and several other wonderful members. 


The Lecture was indeed a Great eye opener for everyone and we all got enlightened about Sickle Cell Anaemia.

Thanks for reading and God bless 😘

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