Guest Speaker- Mrs. Olabisi Obiajulu Ugboh(BeeCee) – A Song Writer, a Model, an Actor, Rapper,  Relationship Expert and a TV Host.

On the 18th of May. 2018, The Lecture Theme: No Man was made for a specific Woman. Took place on our Whatsapp platform “Identity and Purpose”

These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Mrs.Olabisi Obiajulu Ugboh

Who is Mrs. Olabisi Obiajulu Ugbor?(BeeCee)

BeeCee Ugboh is a Wife, Mother, Sister and Indeed one of Nigeria’s Fastest Growing Female Rapper, She is a kingdom hip hop recording artiste who raps with a blend of English and igbo.

BeeCee Ugboh is also a Song writer, whose real name is Obiajulu Olabisi Ugboh ; a graduate of political science from delta state university. She also holds an international diploma in Montessori Education from The Centre of Educational Research and Development India.

She already calved a Niche for her style of Music Called ” ENGLIBO”

BeeCee Ugboh started her career in music in 2011 after which she was nominated for Next rated Category at The Nigerian Gospel Music Awards 2012 ( NGMA) which she won.

Some of Beecee Ugboh singles track(s) audio and videos are getting massive air play locally and internationally connecting with new fans everyday.

She’s also a relationship expert and a TV host at TV Continental Lagos (Your View) . She also runs an online radio program and Car series called  –Love Angles with BeeCee Ugboh.

BEECEE UGBOH has a FOUNDATION (BUF) that positively change the lives of the less privilege people towards a positive lifestyle, and get a society in which those who are vulnerable and poor are able to facilitate their own development and their communities in general.

Lecture in Details

She shared how she came from an abusive home, she didn’t know her mum cos she left her dad who was constantly hitting her when she was 11months old. So she grew up without her mother and left at the mercy of several step mothers cos her father kept changing them. But she realized at 16yrs of age that she had a unique wisdom on relationship matters. She had a deep knowledge of such issues that elderly women were already seeking her advise . So at that age, she was mature in mind and ready for marriage though she wanted to experience life in full first before settling and she’s glad she did.

In the course of her counseling life , she started realising that most of the problems encountered in marriage would have been averted if the people involved took time out to understand themselves first for themselves, love themselves and have a healthy psychological function of the mind. She explained….most people get into marriages thinking, it would fix them or make them happy, not realizing that marriage is like an empty box. “You bring what you want to see”.

We have also been misled to think that God picks a partner for us or that there is only one right person for us which is a Myth. No specific person is meant for a specific other. If we both handle ourselves properly, learn what we need to learn in terms of having strong character traits, goodness of heart, ability to respect anyone, less ego, true love for humanity etc we find that we can easily fit into any life and make it better.

She remember in her 300level as a student, she sent the name of her boyfriend to her mum who requested that she wanted to pray to find out the right person for her. So she did and  the answer was no that he wasn’t right for her. Naturally she’s a stubborn person and so she ignored and continued her relationship with her boyfriend. Cos even at that time, she knew that any good man can be her husband and her boyfriend was a good man. He fit into her idea of an ideal husband, a friend, a dream supporter, a planner, he had his head on his shoulder and even when he was a bloody student without a dime, she knew that he was good for her( “He’s drop dead gorgeous too”.)

A couple of years later after he had graduated, got a good job and bought a car, she being a trouble maker asked her mum to pray again and guess the response this time. YES

Just imagine if she had dumped the poor guy who she knew was ideal for her just because a man of God prayed and said he wasn’t 

Ponder on that.

God has given us instincts for a reason. Remember we ourselves are gods…….. we have placed our power on others for a long time now and so instead of using our heads to think, we rely on others to tell us what we can find out for ourselves.

A lot of us ignore red signals in our relationship because someone have told us the person is our husband or we saw him in our dreams or believe we can change the persons attitude in marriage.

She went further to explain certain signs that tell you he or she is not the one. She has tons of relationship videos on YouTube @beeceeugboh

• For Example, you are dating a guy who when he is upset throws things around or damages property and you say because he hasn’t hit you yet, that he’s not abusive???? Lady, in that marriage he will definitely hit you, that’s a clear sign already.
• Someone who takes care of himself more like a man who always shops for clothes and shoes for himself without buying for you. You think he’ll suddenly start buying for you in marriage???? Nne think again, he’ll empty your joint acc on himself alone in marriage.

To function effectively in a marriage, a person needs to be whole, happy in themselves and psychologically ready to share everything with another person. Most marriages pack up out of selfishness on the part of a partner or both partners.

You cannot give what you do not have. If you are naturally wicked, you’ll definitely take your wickedness to your marriage, if you are a lazy person, you’ll take laziness along too . And that is why it’s very important to seek to know your partner in depth before you marry.

Some people have argued that you can’t really know a person while dating and I agree because we usually present our best selfs in the course of dating. BUT no man can act 24 hours a day, 365 days a year……… they are bound to be slips and if you are sensitive you can pick on those slips.

Back in time men and women married for political and financial gains and we recorded less divorce, Now with the so called romance and technology, we have an alarming rate of divorce.

Religion has also not helped us in the sense that the basic things Jesus taught have been misinterpreted by men of God, just to keep us under control, making us believe that the only way we can get true happiness and contentment is by only coming to fellowship.

If everyone will groom themselves to be their best version, be good no matter what, love humanity unconditionally, understand that we are human beings and bound to make mistakes, know that people fight different personal battles and try to empathize with them, then we’ll find that we can live with anybody. No matter who and no matter where.

Her husband could have married another woman and still be a good man to his wife because naturally he is a good man.

That tells me that our marriage issues can easily be fixed, if we work on ourselves to be better, no matter our experiences and the conditions life throws at us.

She grew in an abusive home but told herself that she was gonna be the best Mum to her kids, the best wife to her husband, the best daughter inlaw’s to her inlaw’s and she’s there already. It’s a conscious effort, a lot of hard work, but because she determined to make it work.One would think that she will be violent when upset considering her upbringing but it will shock you to know that in 16yrs of knowing her husband and 10yrs of marriage they have NEVER had a shouting match. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have issues but she learnt to apply wisdom.

Seeking God is also one of the most important but most of us seek him wrongly. To know God starts from a knowledge of you cos we are made from the same fabric and connected to one another. In Him we live, move and have our being. The very air you breathe is God. If you have that understanding, you’ll realize that God has never left you any day and He wants you to trust Him to lead you through your heart, instincts, endowments and then you can listen to yourself.

Being in connection with God is natural and not only when you are in church or in a spiritual program……… we need to understand that we are eternal beings, connected to our source who is God……..and He wants us to be happy and amazing and be our greatest version even in marriage.

And so God is pleased when we can see beyond excitement and money and looks into compatibility, friendship, goodness.

ILLUSTRATION

A real Experience:

She met a guy in NySc who was cool and they got close but she noticed that he had a wicked heart as much as punishing animals when they upset him. She stayed in a compound full of rats disturbing, so one day he came visiting and he helped her catch one rat.

Do you know this guy tied the rat to a stick and was flogging this rat. It sounded funny when she was recounting the story but that triggered something in her that this guy is merciless and he’ll suffer his spouse in the future.

She also noticed that he was only nice to the person he’s involved with or he likes. He never helps out any body else. He’ll see women carrying heavy loads on their head and he won’t try to assist or give a helping hand.

So tomorrow if per adventure the butterflies fades which always happens, in marriage, he’ll revert to his natural wicked self.

Everyone has got a God given instinct, to pick out such signs but we most often than not ignore it. Nobody is perfect but it’s important to know what your deal breakers are in marriage and avoid it.

The most important thing is to be a good person by yourself, learn to love yourself, appreciate your self, work on your self esteem, go ahead and dream big, achieve for yourself, impact humanity positively and bring value to your marriage.

When you are constantly good, even if you’ve made the mistake of marrying a terrible person, over time you can win him over with love.

Finally, God is not in the business of selecting wife/hubby or career for us, he has given us the power of CHOICE.

To check other wonderful post of BeeCee Ugboh, click on http://www.beeceeugboh.com

Contributions by Identity and Purpose members 

Precious E. Erhauyi said –

The issue here is compatibility…

Do more work on self discovery… who, what, and how are you, first… before you can know the right person who fits into your life!

I believe one of the issue we face is being too fanatic (spirituality) so much so that we forget we’re in charge of every choice we make:

Let’s consider this illustration together:

A lady who dreamed of becoming an international super star in music has two suitors… both are called Micheal

One is Michael Jackson and the other is Mike Tyson…

I believe Micheal Jackson’s input will go a long way to assisting in her dream rather than the musculature of Mike Tyson!

That’s how compatibility works…

You need this idea in other areas too! Your choice of Micheal Jackson is God’s leading already —Fact!

Opeyemi Akanni said- All in all, first contact should be God, open your heart, eyes & mind for red flags.

Mrs BeeCee Ugboh said –I believe that everyone should have a personal relationship with God. Have a daily work with God, have a daily conversation with God. Commit your daily activities into God’s hands, listen for inspiration from God and understand how He speaks to you.

The first question is why you want to date?

For marriage purposes or just to have a friend?

Secondly can I be friends with this persons personality? Even if we do not end up marrying?

Does this person fit into my ideal man?

These are a few of the questions God won’t ask you???? You will have to find out yourself

If the person fits, then as you talk with God regularly you can ask him for signs and trust me the signs will already be there. Because God is in charge of your everyday, He has a way of protecting you even before you realize it.

We give Glory to God for the success of this Wonderful seminar, thanks to the Host and Our Guest Speaker.

Thanks to Members , Visitors and Readers. God bless us all.