On the 20th of April. 2018, The Lecture Theme: Self Discovery and Self Believe ). Took place on our Whatsapp platform “Identity and Purpose ”
These are the details of the Lecture and that of the Guest Speaker- Mrs.Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu
Who is Mrs. Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu?
She is a Wife, a Mother, a Friend, also an author, identity coach, a publisher and mental wellness coach, She is the CEO of Hadar Creations (Publishing Company). Tag line is “To Publish and Unpublish from your mind in order to publish you”.
Mrs. Oluwatosin has a Master’s degree in business administration (MBA) from the Cardiff Metropolitan University United Kingdom, and also has a LL.M in international dispute resolution from Humboldt University Germany .
She is a trained arbitrator, negotiator and mediator.
Her mediating skills are clearly evident in her books which advocates for women, children and against bullying of any form.
Lecture in Details
We looked at how Mrs. Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu started her journey of self discovery.
She didn’t get to a place in her life, then decided to go on the journey of finding who she was created to be. Experiences and the travails of life battered her so much till she got to a point where she heard the Holy Spirit whisper to her to start blogging.
Prior to then she had been jobless for 6 years, she did a clothing business but it didn’t work out, people owed her till the business sank so it was as if she was jinxed. It was like her life would never amount to anything. She watched her mates and people that were younger than her progress speedily, making money and getting promoted at work while she remained stagnant. She had a Law degree, She had even travelled to the United Kingdom to get an MBA, still no job. The only good thing she had was the gift of life and the gift of her darling husband. Along the line she had her first child. That was when she really became troubled and depression began to stare at her in the face.
Motherhood opened up a well of desperation in her and she wanted more. She went back to school again and got another Masters in Law in International dispute resolution right there in Germany where we lived.
She had thought, that would open greater doors but it was all a lie. She was just sad, weary, broke and so dependent on her husband in a strange land where both couples needed to earn money in order to be able to save for the day she had applied for a job and passed the exam to the glory of God and to her surprise, so she was elated and waiting for the next stage of interview. She had started planning for child care, you know how you plan ahead for something you are so sure about? That was how much she had planned mentally, all of a sudden she received an email from the HR that said she was not the right fit for the job. Her whole world collapsed and she began to cry so hard. JIt was as if a tank of tears was let loose in her. She cried so hard and her husband was afraid. He told her, she was the matriarch of their home. Lol, and that if she crash as a result of this disappointment then her son and him were going to crash too. He encouraged and motivated her and told her to keep trying and that one day God will answer their prayers and she would get a job. Besides he said he was not complaining, he has a good job so they could get by
However she was sad, she needed to do something with her life, She knew she was beginning to sink into mediocrity, she needed to find a way out of such entrapment. She needed a way out. This was her thought while she laid down on the carpet the following day while their baby was sleeping in the noon, and she heard “Start blogging”.
It was like a soft whisper but she knew that voice too much not to know that it was the Holy Spirit, She stood up and immediately began a research, and that was how she bought a domain name,which has now been changed to due to the beauty and the power of Self Discovery.
She didn’t know what God was doing when he said she should start blogging, but she knew she needed to just obey. The moment she began to write she was writing about some issues she had buried so deep in her heart. She was writing about them bit by bit, sometimes it could be an issue of unforgiveness in her heart towards someone in the past, sometimes it could be something that angered her deeply about our society. The more she wrote the better she felt. The lighter she became. It was as if she was shedding the weight she had in her heart as a result of writing. That was how it was for 9 months till she heard again about authorship right on the hospital bed when she delivered her daughter. She knew that voice again, so she obeyed despite the fact that she is usually overwhelmed and depressed after having a baby. She started writing my first book-“Motherhood and the society” and she finished writing it in about 8 weeks. While writing it, a memory from her childhood struck her, and she was so angry that she wanted to go and make a post about it on Facebook. It was about her Father’s brother. He emotionally battered her brother and her on his way to go buy them shoes as instructed by their dad.
Her parent were separated by then already. This man cursed she and her brother to and fro the shoe shop. She was just 7 years then while her brother was 10. That memory came from nowhere, and she had already typed a long post on Facebook to educate people on what was usually done to the mind of a child from a dysfunctional home when the Holy Spirit told her to make it into a book. She got a title there and there when she had not even finished writing her first book and the title was From the Perspective of the Child. She set a target for herself and after launching her first book in March, she wrote and launched her second and third book which was a work of fiction in December. Her third book is titled Life on the Street of Readlooks, it’s about life on Facebook.
To begin with- She took a break from the social media 12am January 1 this year. She was praying and waiting on God. She knew God was set to release something very powerful in her life this year. She knew he has been taking her through the rudiment from March 2016 when she started writing so internally. She was ready for what the Lord had in stock. “For you to discover you, and who you are created to be you need to come to a place of readiness” She came to that place of total readiness in December 2017. And she positioned herself for what the Lord was ready to do in her life even though she didn’t know what it was.
Fastforward to sometimes in January this year she was in the kitchen and she began to write about the titles of her blog articles for the year. She also began to write about the books she wanted to write for the year. As she was writing, she wrote down IDENTITY. She took a step back, she have never paid attention to that word before in her life, She knew she was very strong willed, had a mind of her own, but she have never really paid attention to that word identity before and who she really was.
She looked at that word in her paper, and she said hmmm that would make an awesome article then the Holy Spirit said, no it’s not an article it’s a BOOK! She was like wow, but what does she know about IDENTITY that she was going to write in a book?
Immediately she remembered an incident that happened in her secondary school. She was chosen with another girl to contest for the position of the senior prefect girl. She was shocked and felt like this was a set up. This lady is better than her, what does she know? She has better leadership skills so she voted for her when it was time for her to cast her vote. The ballot was counted, I had 13 vote while she had 12 votes, she became my assistant senior prefect girl while i became the head girl. The flashback of that incident was something that hit her real deeply and She knew ok, the Lord wants her to write about IDENTITY. Immediately inspiration began to pour in and she wrote so much to her amazement in two weeks the book was done, though on hold and not published yet.
What is self discovery? Below is an excerpt from her soon to be published book “IDENTITY”
Aristotle said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”. She could not help but agree with this wise quote. There is a beautiful power that lies in discovering who you really are. You become so self-aware that you begin to view the world from a different lens. Self-awareness is a gift. It is something that eludes a lot of people till they die. Discovering who you are and who you are meant to be is the best gift you can give to yourself and to the world. It is the best gift the Holy Spirit can reveal to you as a child of God.”
The bible says in Jeremiah 1:5. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. This simply means as a child of God, greatness is embedded in your DNA. You can’t afford not to discover that greatness because self discovery makes the world go round.
Discovering means many others would also discover themselves because you discovered you! The destinies that are tied to yours rotting away in entrapment would be set free and their greatness birthed just because you discovered who you are, and who God had created you to be.
You see why you are going to be doing the world a great favour by discovering you?
Here is an excerpt from her book IDENTITY brought out from the chapter on Self Discovery and how to begin your journey on self discovery.
How do you begin the journey of self discovery?
“I want you to know that if you are confused and uncertain about your gifts, just go to God and observe a quiet moment while you talk to him.
Read books on finding purpose, listen to messages from men and women of God that are motivational, look for Bishop TD. Jakes books, his messages are all over YouTube, listen to them.
You need something motivational to propel you forward, you need to hear the humble story of self-discovery of many of the great men and women you admire and see so you can realize that what you are going through now on your journey to finding purpose is normal and that they have all walked that path. (like she had shared her story above).
You need to also seat down and ask yourself some serious questions.
What do you like to do best?
What interests you the most about life?
What makes your heart to beat so fast when you listen to it, watch it, read it or discuss it?
What infuriates you the most when you come across it anywhere?…….Many people run away from what they do not like and avoid it. However what you hate most could be a path to your destiny. It could be the propeller you need to right the wrong by submitting yourself to the service of creating a solution to that thing. Move closer to that thing, and if you do not want to, you can study it from afar in order to understand it thoroughly so you can be inspired on creating a solution to it in order to help other people.
One of the things I hated to see or witness around me was bullying. It just rips my heart out and makes me extremely angry and sad watching any form of bullying. When I realized I could not keep quiet about it anymore, most especially the amount of bullying that happens on the social media space, I wrote my third book, a work of fiction titled “Life on the street of Readlooks” and the last chapter was demystifying bullying. That was my contribution to helping people understand how bullies operate on the social media and how to co-exist with them without becoming their victim.
Lastly what part of your childhood do you constantly remember?
I remember a lot of things about my childhood and my connection to some of the things that happened to me while I was a child were a major influence in writing all my books. You would have noticed that already in this book, and you would still see more of that as you read on. Don’t discard your childhood no matter how unpleasant it was. Those memories could be the connection to your self-discovery which would help in launching you to your purpose.
This simply means believing in yourself and trusting yourself to do right and do good through Christ which strengthens you. After you have discovered who you are, or beginning to discover who you are, a lot of new things would be discovered by you in you. A lot of treasures would be unearthed in you. Treasures that could scare you due to the extent of their richness and greatness. They could be so overwhelming that you might develop a cold feet if you do not believe you can SHOW UP! What does it mean to show up?
“Many of us hunger for opportunities and open doors that could take us to our next point in life. We dream for these opportunities and crave for them desperately.
We pray, fast and work hard for these opportunities, however when those opportunities present themselves we self-destruct by not SHOWING UP.
We begin to look for excuses on why we cannot make it, we begin to waste time and drag our feet, some of us even out rightly become unavailable and our helpers or connectors begin to chase us around in order to SHOW UP for something we have begged or hungered for.
Many of these behaviors that make us self destruct are psychological and this is why you need to rise above them by rooting out every wall of limitation in you ranging from fear, low self esteem, self comparison, what will people think, shame etc.
In continuation, I want you to know that we are in a world where people would do everything to project their fears and limitations in you, they would make you doubt your new self. You are also going to lose many friends because of the new you. They cannot fathom who you are anymore, and who you have now become makes them uncomfortable, and because they have been toxic all along stringing you along, they begin to take themselves out of your life one after the other. Some of them would even accuse you that you have become negative. they say this in order to confuse your new sense of self. That is why you need to be well grounded on the journey of self discovery. You can’t afford not to take along self believe with you because that is what would keep you on track and to be able to stand firm while you discover more and more of who you are.
“I would love to let you know that Doubt and Fear is normal on your way to self-discovery and walking in purpose. I would be superficial if I say it is not, but you need to snap out of it so you can forge ahead and make progress in executing your dream and vision. As a matter of fact if you don’t believe in yourself, the world would smell it and see through you, dream and vision killers would feed on this and help you in shutting the door finally on your purpose.
Don’t EVER doubt yourself on this journey of self discovery, as you go along that journey take along with you SELF BELIEVE. It is a good companion and it will keep you grounded, focused and energized. It will help you navigate through the negativities of this world and the toxic people who would want to crush you on your way to fulfilling purpose.
I appreciate you all and I look forward to your testimonies on your journey of self discovery and IDENTITY.
Here is a free E-workbook I wrote on identity Its a practical insight into discovering your identity.
here is the link for the free download on our publishing website and online book store
I don’t want to dabble this class to relationships and the rest because that is another broad topic that’s why I stayed out of it. However I have an eBook for you on sexual harassment. Knowing who you are and how to avoid every form of sexual harassment in school and at work. Here is the link to the free download
The book IDENTITY comes out in August and its a must have for everyone who truly wants to walk in purpose. The book is loaded, as in very loaded. I didn’t just write that book I was divinely inspired to. I wrote down every whisper and thought. The book is on finding self, aunthenticity and leadership.
I leave you with this quote as I end my Lecture.
“Discovering your identity is like war, maintaining your identity is a greater war. When the kings begin to show up, are you still going to maintain your Identity”? Ponder on this. -OOA. Answers can be found in my book IDENTITY. You can imagine a lot of secrets to discover there.
- Being a child I had so much Courage that I could stand up to any situation expecially in my family. But now I noticed am shrinked cause people say am bossy and proud I always like to be in charge and those words gets to me a lot in such cases what do I do?
Shirk it. Don’t allow those words to manifest in you. People seek to kill what they do not understand. People seek to tarnish what makes them uncomfortable. People do not want you to shake their world or reality. So those damage that was done to clip your wings from childhood needs to be rooted out. The was your strength. I have a write up on humility I will be sharing in the team next week. Humility has defined or expected by NIgerians, Africans is farce. They use it to destroy and kill potentials. If you pander to it it is at your own risk. They have used that word humility to kill talents. Parents and the society have used it to cut the wings of greatness in children. Please begin nurture that gift again and develop it. Don’t let those words kill that talent.
- How do I overcome the spirit of fear?.I do fear almost everything,even the things I know I can sometimes I just feel lost as if I don’t even know who I am or why I am existing.
You need to become daring. If you are afraid to speak somewhere then begin to speak from somewhere. Show up, bring yourself as you are, no holds barred. The truth is that the right people will appreciate you when you SHOW UP as you with all your flaws.
In Conclusion: You need to root out every form of people pleasing. People pleasing is a sign of deeply rooted form of low self esteem.
Thanks for Reading. Hadar Creations page is in Facebook and also Hadar Creations Team, the team is the place we coach.